Interview with Logan, James Howlett aka Wolverine
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Attention kitties, today we managed to attract the hairiest mutant on the planet with a packet of beef jerky! Get ready for an interview that will make your hair stand on end! 🐺🍖
Q: So Logan, how are you dealing with your 200 years of teenage crisis?
Listen to me, little one. When you've lived as long as I have, every century is an adolescent crisis. I've lived through a civil war, two world wars, and I've even seen the birth of disco. Believe me, that was really traumatic. But hey, a little scratch here, a little cigar there, and it passes.
Q: It is said that you have redefined the concept of anti-hero. Is it true that you are more "anti" than "hero"?
Ugh, labels are for cans, not for me. I'm just a guy trying to do the right thing, even if it means turning a few bad guys into kebabs. Besides, being a hero is overrated. Have you ever tried going through airport security with a metal skeleton? It's hell, I tell you.
Q: Do you have any beauty tips for our readers who would like to have a hairstyle as... unique as yours?
My secret? Never, ever EVER put your fingers in an electrical outlet. That's what that idiot Electro does. I'm all about naturalness. A good mud bath, a few rolls in the leaves, and there you have it! The perfect look to scare your enemies and seduce... uh, no one actually. But at least it keeps the shampoo salesmen away.
I'm the best at what I do, but mostly what I do is moan and drink beer.
Q: Why are fans so obsessed with you? Aside from your adamantium abs, of course.
- My "beer and cigar" diet is all the rage among hipsters
- I'm the only superhero who can open cans without a can opener.
- My Quick Shave Technique Inspires Barbers Around the World
- I'm living proof that you can be grumpy AND sexy.
- My healing factor makes me the perfect guinea pig for new cocktails.
And there you have it, that's all we could get out of our favorite furball before he went off hunting Sabretooth again... or looking for a good hairdresser. It's hard to say with him! And you, dear reader, what's your most WTF Wolverine moment? The time he tried to pass himself off as a giant cat in a pet store? When he used his claws to make an impromptu barbecue? Or when he tried to join the Avengers disguised as Captain America (spoiler: it didn't work)? Drop your files in the comments!